Thursday, February 10, 2011

What if . . .

I can't lie. I'm getting scared. All the "what-if's" are creeping in. They're the same "what-if's" that many of you have asked me about. 

When you're a mom, you automatically feel innately responsible for the happiness of your children. It can't be helped. What if they don't like the food? What if they're home-sick? What if they don't like school? What if they cry at night? What if they get sick? What if they resent us for taking them to live in Africa? What if my kids aren't happy? 

I just brought this before the Lord in prayer, and he gently reminded my human, forgetful spirit, "the happiness of your children is not the primary goal". Actually, it's not a goal for them at all, nor is it for anyone. God's will for all of us is not our happiness, but our holiness.  The goal for this life isn't that we're "fat & happy". It's that we live to reflect the glory of God, and that we're continually being sanctified.  That's a fancy word for becoming more and more holy everyday; more like God; purified; free from sin. That's a job that only God can do. 

Does God love it when my children are happy? Absolutely. Is that His primary goal for them? Absolutely not. Right now, my children are made happy by candy, games, movies, playtime, a favorite meal, a good long visit to the park, a new puppy.  Does that help them become who God wants them to be? Does it give them peace? Does it keep them content?  Nope. Once we're home from the park, the happiness is gone. When the piece of candy is gone or the gum has lost it's flavor, the party's over.  Only God can give comfort, lasting peace, and take the troubles and hard things in life, and allow them to be a part of our sanctification process.  It's a beautiful thing if we let it be.

So I'm praying that God will help my mommy-heart to remember that it's ok if my kids aren't happy all the time. It's ok for them to dislike the food. It won't scar them for life if they have a tough time in school or if they miss their friends. God will take care of their hearts the same way he's taking care of mine, and they will ultimately be in His hands every moment, just like they are now. 

If you want to pray with me, I'd be grateful. Pray that God would give me wisdom, clarity and understanding to help my children process the changes that will come our way in the next few months. Only yesterday Kenya Joy broke down in tears telling me that she didn't want to go because she didn't want to leave her friends. I need wisdom in how to handle these moments . . . this is uncharted territory for me as a mom. What if . . . 

What if . . . God did what He always does . . . "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid". John 14:27


6 comments:

  1. I'm praying for you Amy! We are looking forward to meeting you one day and living along side you in Kitale! We have a a 6, 4 and 3 month old. So you will be great giving me tips on how to adjust kids to a new culture, I'm sure! Love your blog!

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  2. Amy... you are such an amazing woman of God. It's been a joy for me to know you all these years and watch you literally grow from a child (probably from just about the age of Lil' How), through your teenage years, early adulthood, marriage, becoming a wife and mom... and through each stage of life seeking to become more like Jesus.

    I WILL be praying for wisdom as you become a mom who lives in Africa seeking Jesus! But I know you will be just as AMAZING, because holiness vs. happiness is your mission. Love you MOST, Loop

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  3. God is sovereign my dearest! He is all we need for Joy in our lives, happiness may or may not occur. The good news, He will love and protect you and no one has a better interest in your little ones than Him. You are going to all do such great things! I am so encouraged by your insight. I am so proud of all of you!! I love you the mostest and can't wait to see all of the ways He blesses you for your faithfulness.

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  4. Amy I remember when we took our kids to Brazil. They weren't happy to go, at least some of them weren't but in the end they all said it was the best year of their lives. My Amy cried for the first 2 months we were down there and then didn't want to leave when it was time to come home and cried for the first month she was home. This is a growing experience for all of them. The Lord will work wonders in their lives and in the lives of others for your willingness to follow him. We will be praying for each of you while you prepare for this grand adventure.

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  5. You said it well: "when the gum's lost is flavor the party is over." JOY comes from some better place than happiness - it comes from obedience.

    "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be COMPLETE." John 15:10-11

    "Happiness is like gas! It comes and it goes." ~ Old Vom Steeg Proverb

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  6. Amy,
    Wow, you guys are leaving SO soon! I am very excited for you...and can only imagine all of the fears you are facing as a mom. You are truly trusting God to take care of your kids, and that is a hard thing to do!
    I admire you and Howie a lot for stepping out in faith like this, and will pray for you all.
    I look forward to reading your blog and hearing wonderful stories from Africa!
    Love you!

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